


For A Boy Like You

by theflowerchildandthepunk



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Cheating, Drug Addiction, Famous/Non Famous AU, Harry's mom is a mess, M/M, Non-Famous Harry, Someone dies, and kinda awful, harry cries a lot, louis is an asshole, so it Jay, sorry - Freeform, this is a mess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-16
Updated: 2016-05-16
Packaged: 2018-06-08 20:06:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,814
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6871492
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theflowerchildandthepunk/pseuds/theflowerchildandthepunk
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“If you walk out of that door, I won’t be here when you get back.” Harry threatened softly and Louis just scoffed at him. “I couldn’t get that lucky.” Louis muttered and backed away from Harry, leaving him with his mouth hanging open at what Louis just said. “Like you said, being in love isn’t enough anymore.” And with that Louis stormed out of the house, slamming the door behind him and leaving Harry feeling like his world just came crashing down around him.</p><p>or the one where Harry just wants Louis to love him back and this wasn't what he wanted when he was a child but here he was with a hole in his chest where his heart used to be and Louis doesn't even care</p>
            </blockquote>





	For A Boy Like You

**Author's Note:**

> Still writing on a shitty borrowed laptop and I still don't own One Direction. I didn't edit, so I'm sorry about any errors that pop up; oops? Title is from a song that I love and I hope that you enjoy and don't try to kill me in my sleep kay love you bye

Harry didn’t want to be here. Parties with models and too much alcohol and people hooking up on the couches and drugs were never what he dreamed of as a child but here he was, pressed into Louis’ side because he wasn’t cut out for the lifestyle of the rich and addicted. He smiled politely at the next producer who came to stand in front of Louis, casually downing the liquid in his wine glass and blocking out all the false promises the producer was spouting; how he could make Louis the next superstar and offering him a joint that was supposed to be loaded with “the good stuff” and that was the start of it. The start of Louis forgetting who he was and why he even started singing in the first place, the start of him leaving Harry alone in the middle of the night just so he could get his fix of his latest addiction; whether it was Angel Dust or Zayn Malik. The start of Harry falling apart when someone asked him how Louis was, the start of packing bags in secret because Harry was done with Louis wasting away into something he didn’t even recognize. The start of their marriage falling apart but Harry desperately trying to hold onto it, he didn’t know anything other than loving Louis and it was like a part of him went missing when Louis realized he could get whatever he want and he didn’t want Harry anymore.

____________________________________

 

It was Friday night, which meant that Louis would be leaving the house for God knows how long but Harry was still holding out on a miracle. He walked quietly down the hallway and stopped at their bedroom door, listening to Louis talk on the phone to whomever he was meant to hang out with this weekend. “I don’t care who’s there just as long as they have what they promised me. I haven’t gotten any since Harry flushed my stash down the toilet a month ago.” Harry clenched his eyes shut and dug his nails into his wrist so he wouldn’t start crying. He knew what Louis was talking about, a little bag full of white crystals that was hidden in their sock drawer and Harry hadn’t even thought before he flushed it; hadn’t even thought that Louis would hit him so hard that he would taste blood. “He’s not my boyfriend, we’ve just been playing around.” A pause and Harry’s heart felt like it was breaking. “Who cares if Harry knows! He knew what he was getting himself into when we started this mess, knew that I’d be tempted so badly that I couldn’t resist. This is my time right now and I can’t be blamed for that. I shouldn’t have to put my life on hold just because Harry wants me to be with him all the time. I have better things to do.” Harry left after that, going to sit on the couch in their living room so he could cry out all the tears in his body. He didn’t know that it would be like this. That Louis would replace him with someone better or fall so hard that he missed where he was supposed to land. But the sad thing was he couldn’t blame Louis, not really. He had met Zayn, right after he figured out what was going on, and it clicked into place why Louis picked him. He was beautiful and famous and perfect and everything Harry wasn’t. He stayed there until Louis came out and even then it was like he didn’t exist. Harry wiped the left over tears off of his face with his wrist and plastered on what he called his Louis smile, the one that looked innocent because he wasn’t meant to know what was going on. “Baby, are you staying home tonight? I was thinking that maybe we could make your favorite like we used to do and just watch Netflix.” Harry said softly and he almost thought Louis didn’t hear what he said until Louis threw his hands in air and turned around with anger all over his face. “Why the fuck do you always want me to stay in this God forsaken house with you?! It’s the same damned thing every weekend! I have better things to do than play house with you!” Louis shouted and Harry’s face fell, leaving him with tears welling up in his eyes. “It’s the same damned thing every weekend because I’m hoping that maybe you'll pull your head out of your ass and realize this isn’t good for you!” Harry’s voice cracked but he kept his ground, even standing up so he could tower over Louis and seem like he wasn’t as scared as he actually was. “Not good for me?! I’m surrounded by people who love me and don’t bitch at me every time I do something they don’t like! They don’t care if I get a little high sometimes and they don’t care if I want to spend the night with someone other than my husband! They’re my friends and they want what’s best for me!” Louis had stepped so close to Harry that he could feel the spit that was flying from Louis’ mouth with every word he yelled. It made Harry want to fold in on himself. He clenched his eyes shut to keep the tears from falling down and he could hear Louis muttering under his breath. “Louis, baby, they aren’t your friends. The only thing they want from you is a part of your stash and for people to think you’re all close. I love you and want the best for you and I’m telling you that this isn’t good for you!” Louis shoved Harry in the chest and sent him stumbling backwards. It was almost like when Harry had flushed his Angel Dust, Louis’ fist were clenched by his side and his face was splotchy and red and Harry could taste blood in his mouth; except this time it wasn’t because Louis hit his mouth. It was because this was the final puzzle piece, the exact moment that Harry saw their entire nine years of marriage fall to the floor like broken shards of glass. He had hoped, had prayed, that Louis would snap out of it and get some help but he was wrong; Louis had just fallen further down the rabbit hole and left Harry at the top. “Why do you always do this?” Louis questioned and Harry felt the tears in eyes start to fall down his cheeks. “You don’t understand, Louis! You have everything you want! The parties, the friends, the drugs! All I’ve ever wanted was for us to be happy and together but you’re throwing it all away because being in love isn’t enough for you anymore!” Harry shouted and this was the first time he had said what he really thought in the last year. “If you walk out of that door, I won’t be here when you get back.” Harry threatened softly and Louis just scoffed at him. “I couldn’t get that lucky.” Louis muttered and backed away from Harry, leaving him with his mouth hanging open at what Louis just said. “Like you said, being in love isn’t enough anymore.” And with that Louis stormed out of the house, slamming the door behind him and leaving Harry feeling like his world just came crashing down around him.

_________________________________________

 

Harry had moved back in with his mum and it was going surprisingly well. Sort of. She had welcomed him back with open arms when he told her what had happened almost two months ago but she was trying to get him to move on faster than he was ready to. She had already set him up on five blind dates that he secretly canceled, going to spend time with Niall instead and she was pushing him to file for a divorce; saying that he’d get over it easier if he wasn’t connected to Louis like that anymore. He loved his mum, he really did, but at this point he was ready to smother her in her sleep. He grabbed his keys off the hook and threw a quick goodbye to his mum and Gems before driving to Niall’s house, the only one of  Louis’ friends that he could stand because Niall didn’t act any differently just because he was famous. He still played too much golf and ate so much he usually complained of a stomach ache. Harry pulled up in the driveway and walked into the house without knocking like he usually did after he parked, kicking off his shoes before stepping into the living room. Niall was half asleep on the couch so he plopped down onto his stomach and wiggled around as much as possible until Niall shoved him into the floor. “Jesus, mate! Why would you do something like that?” Niall laughed and Harry smiled up at him before getting up and sitting on the couch. “Don’t change the channel, they’re supposed to be reviewing the movie we just did and I wanna know what those little fuckers thought so I know if I need to work on anything.” Niall said and Harry nodded at him, both of them sitting silently until they mentioned Louis and Harry wanted to throw up. “Louis Tomlinson, faithful husband or raunchy party boy? Tomlinson was seen out partying every night for the past two weeks and when fans asked him where his husband Harry was, he dodged the question by vaguely stating that Harry was just spending more time at home. Considering that his husband usually isn’t seen with him and his answer really didn’t make sense, fans started coming up with theories. Our personal favorite is that Harry is pregnant, he did admit to being able to carry children, but why would a daddy to be spend all his time clubbing instead of staying home with Harry? Another theory, our least favorite, is that the couple split. Harry hasn’t been seen around their home or even in their town, and our sources have spotted him in the town that his mother and Niall Horan live in. Now we hope it’s not true, they seemed so in love and it would just be heart breaking if they broke up.” Niall turned off the t.v. after that but it was too late, Harry was already crying and it just made it worse that he was still in love with Louis, still hoping that maybe him leaving would have made Louis realize that he needed to get help but what he just heard showed that it didn’t work at all. “I’m so sorry, Haz.” Niall said softly and Harry crawled into his open arms, feeling like a child. “I thought maybe I could love him through it, but I was wrong.” Harry sobbed and Niall just squeezed his arms tighter because what do you say about having your heart ripped out and crushed.

__________________________________________

 

Harry hated Louis’ producer. Hated him since day one, when he introduced Louis to Angel Dust and told Harry that he needed to change because someone like him couldn’t possibly be married to someone like Louis. But here he was with Louis’ producer, sitting in a chair that was too big for him because a car was sent to his mum’s house and he was told to get in or else. He picked at the skin around his nails until they bleed and tried his hardest not to get up and just leave. Louis’ producer cleared his throat and Harry looked up, shoving his hands under his thighs so he wouldn’t keep picking at them. “Here’s the thing. You’re good for Louis’ ratings. The good boy and the bad boy falling in love and sticking it out through the rough patches is a story the fans are eating up right now, so we need you and Louis to seem like you’re still a couple. Just a few outings every week and coming to a few of his shows. Take some pictures together and post them on Instagram or whatever it is that you use. Get paped. Fake a few sob stories and tell everyone how much you love him.” Harry bit his lip so hard he thought he was going to draw blood and there was a lump in his throat that had been there since Louis’ producer started talking. “We aren’t in love anymore, and you can’t fake something like that. I’m sorry but no.” Harry said and got up to leave, pausing at the door because Louis’ producer had called his name. “Louis already agreed. You don’t have a choice. Wear something nice on Thursday, that’s your first outing.”

____________________________________

 

Thursday started off like hell for Harry. His mum had freaked out when he told her what was going on and this was the one time he didn’t want to smother her with a pillow. He didn’t want to do it just was much as she didn’t want him to do it, but he had to. He had signed a contract just like Louis saying that unless they got a divorce they were required to do whatever the label wanted them to do. It was a shitty contract. So he let himself get styled by one of Louis suppliers because everyone around him seemed to be addicted or dealing and picked at the skin around his nails until they were raw and bleeding the entire time he was in the car that was sent for him. He hadn’t seen Louis in two months, a week, and 13 hours so he was a bit of a mess and felt very justified about it. What do you say to the man that tore your life apart and broke your soul in the process? He already had the sob story memorized, he was supposed to say that he was pregnant but lost the baby so he went to stay with his mum so he could have time to himself and heal emotionally. Just thinking about telling the lie made him want to vomit on the pretty leather seat in front of him. But he would do it, because some fucked up part of him was still hoping that Louis would realize he needed to get his life together. He didn’t even realize that the car had come to a stop until the door was opened and he was helped out by Louis, a gentle hand on his elbow that didn’t match the anger that was glazing over his eyes. It made Harry pull his arm away and that’s when the flashing lights started, when Harry remembered that this was a pap walk so he put on a fake smile and kissed Louis on the cheek; breathing in the smell of his aftershave and toothpaste. “Just hold my hand and we can both go home in a few hours. Don’t fuck it up, Harry.” Louis hissed in his ear and Harry pinched the skin on his wrist so he wouldn’t start crying. They paraded around like circus freaks, Harry holding onto Louis’ hand and occasionally rubbing his stomach to sell the miscarried baby story and it was all wrong. Harry’s skin felt like it was crawling and he couldn’t catch his breath and he just wanted to let go of Louis’ hand because it didn’t feel like it did when they were first married, it didn’t get his heart racing or make him feel loved; it made him feel dirty and he just wanted to go home so he could scrub the lies off of his skin and maybe he would feel less guilty about still being in love with Louis.

__________________________________________

 

Harry was moved back into the house he had shared with Louis, in the guest room that was the furthest away from the master bedroom so he wouldn’t be tempted to crawl in bed with Louis and beg for him to love Harry back. His mum threatened to come over and kill Louis while he slept, said she knew a place to hide the body and the fact that she would probably get away with it made Harry happy that he didn’t smother her in her sleep. He had just sighed into the phone and told her he would take her up on the offer if it came down to it.

_________________________________________

 

The next outing was at one of Louis’ shows and Harry really didn’t want to be there. He was supposed to sit in the crowed with the fans so there would be a hundred percent chance that they would take pictures to show that he was actually there. And to top it all off Zayn was there with him, offering him an apologetic smile and an explanation. “It wasn’t meant to end like this. We were only supposed to fall together a handful of times and then be done with it. But we kept coming together and never falling apart and we just kept getting higher and I never meant to let it end like this. When we first started spending time together, all he would talk about was you. He was so in love with you and it made me so happy to see someone like him still clinging to the life that he used to have but then it all changed. He stopped talking about you and started sleeping over and I can’t begin to tell you how sorry I am that you stopped loving each other.” Harry pinched the skin on his wrist with his nails so hard that it started to bleed and he didn’t even try to wipe away the tears that were rolling down his cheeks. “We didn’t stop loving each other, he stopped loving me.” Harry whispered and Zayn tried offer him a tissue from his pocket but Harry was already shoving his way through the mass of people towards the exit. The official statement that was released the next day said that he was too overwhelmed and had to go home since he still wasn’t over losing the baby. This time Harry did vomit, the acid burning his throat and Louis just closed the bathroom door so he didn’t have to listen to the noises Harry was making.

______________________________________________

 

Harry’s mum sent him divorce papers just in case he changed his mind. He wanted to rip them to shreds, to yell at her that they would get through this and Louis would love him like he used to when they first started dating but he knew better so he folded them neatly and hid them in his sock drawer and cried so much that he didn’t think he had any tears left in his body.

______________________________________________

 

Today wasn’t an outing, it was pictures. Louis had barged into Harry’s room at six and told him that he needed to get his lazy arse up so they could start getting ready and Harry never really understood that. Why would they need to get styled and have a makeup artist come in and a photographer if they were meant to be natural pictures, pictures that showed they were still very much in love? He could just take a few on his phone and then they could go their separate ways, Louis with a bag of Angel Dust over to Zayn’s and Harry could go lay back down and cry until his face was raw and just pretend like this was all just a bad dream. But he got up anyway and was yanked around like a puppet, face caked with makeup and wearing bright colors; something he hadn’t done since he left Louis. He was told that the fans would think that it meant he was finally getting better, that he was realizing just because he “lost” the baby that the world doesn’t have to end or be this awful place anymore and the most awful thing is that he wished he had lost a baby so maybe he could hate Louis the way Louis hated him.

_________________________________________

 

The pictures were a hit on Instagram, the fans left over a million comments saying that they hoped Louis and Harry knew how much they were loved and how they were praying for both of them and that it was good to see their favorite couple back together again but it was all a lie and Harry wanted to tell that to the world so maybe he could stop losing sleep over it. Louis hadn’t even been the one to post it himself, it was an intern who googled love quotes so it would have a caption and she had the entire photoshoot left over to pick from so she could post more over the next few weeks, taking Louis’ password with her when she left. Harry was tagged in all of them and his mum sent him a text reminding him about the divorce papers. He didn’t reply and spent the rest of the day wishing that someone would try to rob the house and shoot him in the process.

________________________________________

 

The next outing was supposed to brunch with both of their mums, to show they still had family values and wanted to be around each other because when they first got married Jay loved Harry and Anne loved Louis. Anne told Harry that if she had to see Louis that she would kill him right on the spot and even though Louis was her son, Jay said she would help. Both of them thought that Harry deserved better at the moment and Harry had hugged them both so hard that they said they couldn’t breathe. Louis spent the entire day mumbling about his mum under his breath and she hit him upside the head every time she heard and Harry’s mum just glared at him from across the table. They left brunch early and Louis’ producer told them they had six more hours of parading around until they could go home so they were set loose on the town, not talking to each other but holding hands and kissing for the benefit of the paps that were following their every move. Harry felt like if another person took his picture he was going to throw up and he did eventually, when they got back home and Louis left him alone because Zayn called and Harry knew better than to ask him to stay. He got the divorce papers out from his sock drawer and filled them out, signing his name and then he put them back; not ready for Louis to know about them yet because he was still hoping. Louis sent him a text saying he wasn’t coming home, more so Harry would lock the doors instead of because he wanted to talk to him, and Harry crawled in the bed they used to share; breathing in the smell of Louis and soaking the pillows with the tears that came with loving him.

_______________________________________

Louis didn’t look the same anymore, his face was sunken in and his eyes were always bloodshot and he was so tiny that if he turned sideways Harry was sure he would disappear and it was because of the Angel Dust; but the fans couldn’t know that so it was up to Harry to fix the mess. He gave up his phone to the same intern that posted their pictures on Instagram and she sent out four Tweets in a row, telling everyone that Louis was just sick and that he had a doctor’s appointment set up and not to worry about it because he would be back to his old self very soon. Harry was still trying to figure out which old self she meant, the one that used to love him or the one who was better at hiding all of his fuck ups.

_________________________________________

 

They had to go on vacation, somewhere warm so they could get papped by the pool and Harry didn’t feel sexy like he used to when he straddled Louis’ thighs; he just felt awkward. He was meant to play up the sexual tension that everyone noticed was gone and he would much rather get run over than try to turn Louis on. He scattered lovebites across Louis’ chest and pinched the skin of his own thighs when the flashing lights started up, telling himself that this was all just a game to Louis and it didn’t mean what it used to and that he only had a few more days of this before they could go home to their separate rooms. He was sort of okay with it, he knew that it would be over soon and it was kind of nice to be that close to Louis for the first time in six months and it was okay. Until Louis followed him into their hotel room and pushed Harry against the wall, giving him a lovebite to match the ones he gave Louis and told Harry that he wanted to touch him the way he did when they were still in love. Harry locked himself in the bathroom after that and dug his nails into his wrist until it bled and even then it didn’t make him feel any better, it made him feel worse and he just wanted to go home. “Harry, I’m your husband! You can’t just leave me when I want you this badly!” Louis yelled through the door and Harry could hear the anger laced with his words and he dug his nails in harder, bleeding faster and it took everything in him to stay sitting on the bathroom floor instead of opening the door and letting Louis have his way with him. “You aren’t my husband anymore, we’re a fucking joke. You haven’t touched me in over a year Louis, not since you met Zayn and you’re not about to start again now because he isn’t here to suck your cock. Go find someone else. It’s what you’re good at.”

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When they got home, Louis went straight to Zayn’s house and Harry went straight for his sock drawer; pulling out the divorce papers that he hid and placed them on Louis’ bed. He was still in love with Louis, probably always would be. But he couldn’t do this anymore, couldn’t pretend that Louis loved him back because it was breaking him even more than it did when he left; because he knew there wasn’t a chance Louis would change. He cried in the shower until the water got cold and it just made him numb, like his outsides finally matched his insides.

_______________________________________________

 

Louis gave Harry back the divorce papers three days later with his signature in the right spot, not even looking him in the eyes and that was that. The divorce went through and Harry packed all of his things in little boxes, leaving behind the memories that came with loving Louis and moved back in with his mum; until he could get out of bed and it not hurt to breathe. She just held him in her arms like she did when he was little and he couldn’t help but think he was happy he didn’t smother her like he wanted to all those months ago.

_________________________________________________

  
Harry went to Niall’s like he usually did, kicking off his shoes before walking into the living room and sitting down beside his best friend. “Don’t change the channel, they’re reviewing the music video we did and I want to know what the little fuckers think.” Niall said and Harry couldn’t help but think that some things never change. They sat in a comfortable silence, Harry stealing Niall’s beer and it was nice until he heard Louis’ name. “Louis Tomlinson was taken by ambulance to the local hospital for a drug overdose and was in critical care until this morning. The popstar faced a lot this year, with losing his child and getting a divorce from ex-husband Harry Styles not even a month ago. He tragically passed away in his sleep and the doctors are saying he had a long drug addiction that lead to his eventual death. Our thoughts and prayers are with his family and friends at this time.” Niall turned the t.v. off but it was too late, Harry had tears in his eyes but they didn’t fall. He cried so much over Louis that he thinks he just ran out somewhere along the way. “I’m so sorry, mate.” Niall whispered and Harry went into his arms like a small child. “I thought I could love him through it, but I guess I was wrong.” Harry’s voice broke and Niall just squeezed his arms tighter because what do you say when the man you’ve always loved passed away and you couldn’t do anything to stop it.?


End file.
